Changes

     As you all have noticed kimmys kozy korner has been taken up with my family issues. This blog was supposed to be about things I thought and seen in the real world that I felt was unfair or unjust. Lately though that hasn't been the case so I am changing the purpose of my blog. Instead of me writing about different things like the government, SPCA or the Children's Aid Society I have decided to use this blog to tell you all about me.

     Kimmys Journal, will give you insight into my personal battle with depression and dealing with the fact that I was raped as a child. I will also use this blog to address the many many lies that have been spread about me. I promise to keep this journal truthful and only give the facts, know matter how hard they may be. I continue this blog for myself and for my own recovery, as I deal with the harsh reality's that were my childhood.

     I thought I would begin by setting the record straight about the lies and rumors that have been said about me.

     Yes it is true that at the age of 5 a doctor made a mistake taking my tonsils out, and because of that mistake I am partly paralyzed on the left side. My “family” did take the doctor to court on my behalf, but it was my grandparents on my mother's side that paid the lawyer. I did receive money, but not the 1.2 million others have said. From all this I received $200,000 my mother received $30,000 my sister $10,000 my “father” $10,000 and my “fathers” mother also received $1,000. My grandparents on my “mothers” side refused to take any money from the caes and told the lawyer what ever money they were to receive should be given to me. At 18 years old I tried to pay my grandparents back and I was told the best way to pay them back would be to do something with my life. By the time I turned eighteen I received a cheque for about $385,000, out of that money $100,000 I put a down payment down for a house for my mother and 2 younger siblings to live in. I spent $20,000 on a new car for me and the rest of the money went into something called an annuity. I get just under $1,200 a month for the rest of my life.

As a child I was rapped by my “father” from the ages of 4-9 years old, I was also molested by a couple cousins. At the age of twelve again I was molested while my “mother” partied with a friend of hers, and again at the age of 15 another man tried the same thing.

     As for taking a lie detector test, why should I have to take one? And I don't believe in hypnosis. I honestly believe that when I child goes to an adult to tell them what is happening that child should be believed right away, and not called a liar and be black balled by her family. As a young child somebody should have believed me when I told them the truth.

     As far as therapy goes, yes I was in therapy from the age of 5 to the age of 17 when I moved down east and away from my family. In the past few months I have begun therapy again to deal with my trust issues and to figure out how to put my rape history behind me.

     I am raising my little brother. He has been in and out of group homes for at least 4 years before our “mother” put him on a plane with a note giving me guardianship. She said that her son was to much for her to deal with so I got him instead of him landing in the system forever. And yes it is true that I am trying to get money, its only because his mother stopped paying child support for him, because I was making him study for is exams. My husband broke his back many years ago and as of just recently he ruined his shoulder. The doctor took him off of work and he is receiving a disability pension.

     Although I have never had a job that paid money, I have spent many years volunteering. First at Erinoak, a place for disabled people than at a soup kitchen in down town Toronto. When my son started school I began volunteering at the school library, I was hoping to get a paid position but cut backs didn't allow for that to happen. I had to stop volunteering after I quickly learned and discovered that when I got home I was far to tired to look after the house and children. My kids are my priority so the job had to go.

     Money hungry? If I were a money hungry bitch I would have a job and say to hell with my kids or what they need. I would have wrote my autobiography a lot sooner than now. If I were a money hungry bitch I would have sued my mother for all the money she has cost me and I would be in meetings with lawyers to try and get the child support. Instead I continue to live my life and make the best with what I have.

     Growing up I did not have it easy, not even a little easy. I went to so many different schools I can't even count them all, my mother loved to party which resulted in me and my sister getting locked into strange rooms in stranger's house's so that she could party. The only reason why we had food on the table is because of my grandfather, he bought our grocery's. Throughout all the moving around and switching school's partying and packing and unpacking my “mother” managed to get married three times.

     And yes with all of this going on it was very difficult getting to know people and making friends. I was never spoiled as a child and NEVER got what I wanted, unless you call getting whipped by a belt from your step father spoiled.

     When my husband and I began a relationship, he was not dating my “mother”. Yes there is an age difference. I was 17 years old and he was 37 when we first got together. When my mother found out about us it wasn't until I told her that I didn't think I would buy her a house that she kicked me out. At the time I was going to a catholic high school and because my mother called the school and told them that I was living with a man, I was kicked out for “living in sin.” It was my senior year I was 4 exams and 4 credits away from graduating.

     Despite all of this I went back to high school and finally got my high school diploma. I also took courses through the mail and received my diploma in child psychology. After many attempts to break me and my husband up and after my mother beating me to the point that I passed out my husband and I moved from Ontario to Nova Scotia, and now that I have EVERYTHING I always wanted my wonderful “family” is trying to take it all away.